Reinventing Your Life
Nothing like being profoundly unhappy to drive you to the self-help section of the bookstore.
I call them pump-up books. Temporary boost. Maybe a good idea or two. Forgotten by the end of the week.
I think big. Action is the problem.
When you have a vision of the life theme you wish to install, and you repeatedly fail to make progress, anger and depression follow.
As you work, negative thoughts from all of the dumb ass things you did 30, 40, or even 50 years ago divert your focus. How can such thoughts about long ago transgressions be a powerful block today?
“Stupid is as stupid does.” – Forrest Gump
Instead of concentrating on the life theme finish line off in the distance, we need to act like Stoics and look for small improvements daily.
Consistent improvement – kaizen – stands out.
Clever people, those Japanese. Also think Samurai and Bushido. In the West, we forget that ancient civilizations around the globe have wrestled with these issues for thousands of years.
Maybe it’s time we learned.
In my own situation, I have mapped out a long time for creating a recurring income online, publishing Kindle books, building lists, and perpetual travel.
My main problem is an addictive personality that will fall into bad habits if I violate my own rules. I need rituals, not habits. For the things I need to do every day to advance toward my life theme, I don’t want to think, just do.
I think I personally need to go beyond a life script or vision statement.
I have family obligations I have taken on which eat up time during the week helping take care of my 89 year old mother, taking care of her house, and ferrying her and other family members around town to take care of their obligations.
I resent it.
I’m getting angrier and angrier each day. Controlling this anger should be easy, but it’s not.
That’s why I have given myself 273 days (9 months) to turn it around, write my books, and hop on a plane.
That’s a long time out. Therein lies the New Year’s Resolution problem.
We set up New Year’s Resolutions to fix past problems, instead of looking to enhance our future. Weight loss. Fitness at the gym. Making more money.
The 3 big areas for personal improvement are health, wealth, and relationships. In my case, 9 months is enough time to reverse my diabetes, create a full-time online income, and to file and complete a divorce.
Each major goal has a number of subgoals that you can imprison your mind and spirit if you go too far.
Let’s take controlling and even reversing type ii diabetes.
There isn’t a diabetic alive who doesn’t know what to do. Cut out sugar, grains, and processed carbs. Eat fruits and vegetables and other real foods. Exercise. Get 7 to 8 hours of sleep.
So simple and so hard.
Pie is one of the 5 major food groups. Donuts were invented by the gods. And Ben & Jerry are my 2 favorite Yankees.
Lab rats with a choice between sugar and cocaine choose sugar.
Self-discipline begins with a four-letter word.
We need to create our own rituals that work within our real life (even if self-imposed) constraints.
For example, the basis of my own online business is text. I make videos and audio tracks, but my blog posts, articles, and ebooks are central to my objective of creating a full-time income online and returning to the life of a perpetual traveler.
The only time I have to myself without interruption is the “night shift”. Everyone else in the house is in bed, and I can work without interruption until daylight when it’s time for a walk – on the beach if the weather is fair, or to the gym if not.
This is where rituals can come in handy. Go to bed at 9:00 p.m. Wake up at 3:33 a.m. Check your blood sugar. Take a shower. Brush your teeth. Make a pot of coffee. Have a protein shake. Take your vitamins and diabetes meds.
I found out when studying for the Bar Exam many years ago that I work better when I set performance goals not based on time.
For example, I forced myself to read so many sections of review materials each day, and to answer so many practice questions. Depending on how you felt and how focused you were, that could take 2 hours, or even 6 hours. Time was not a good measure.
For my 273 days, my writing goal is ambitious. 3,000+ words a day. I have the time, but do I have the discipline. On good days, this could take 3 hours. On bad days, it could take 6 or more.
But think about it. At the end of 9 months, I will have almost unlimited text created to edit, post, and to mold into my own products for sale online.
That’s over 819,000 words. “My, my, my.” – Joe Kendra
But that should be enough to create dozens of ebooks and to be repurposed into articles, posts, and video scripts. It should also be enough to get everything I want to talk about out of my system.
Every day we experience a wide range of emotions, both positive and negative. Rituals help us put the negatives aside and just work.
Anything is possible if you fully commit.
In my case, 273 days is enough to control my diet and reverse diabetes, set up the online business to support my travels anywhere in the world, and to be free of my current spouse and set free to chase potential mail order brides from Southeast Asia to Eastern Europe.
Not that any of this is easy. Simple. Not easy.
Rituals can help reprogram your mind by taking thought and negative self-doubt out of the picture. You just do. Not think. The key is repetition.
Some people believe in affirmations. I think they’re bullshit. People write out and repeat phrases like “I’m a millionaire” or “I’m wealthy”. Fake it until you make it.
Do you think you can trick your mind into believing this bullshit?
Do you want to spend your valuable time lying to yourself?
I have seen one book on afformations. Noah St. John. Afformations are affirmations turned on their head by asking questions. Instead of saying “I am healthy”, you ask yourself “Why am I so healthy?”
Then your brain goes to work coming up with the answers.
You can see for yourself here by checking out the Afformations Solution.
I personally like Ho’oponopono. I ran into it in some touchy-feely weekend retreat with my soon to be ex-wife. I like saying the cleansing mantras while I go for a walk. Combined with deep breathing, walks are now intense.
No one says you can’t try both. Do what works.
I lived in Asia for over 10 years as a young man. I wanted to go there ever since I saw Nancy Kwan star in the movie “The World of Suzie Wong”.
I wonder if the Suzie Wong District still exists in Wan Chai in Hong Kong. From what I can tell, land prices in Hong Kong have remade the old red light district. It was a blast in the 70s and 80s.
Most Eastern philosophies like Buddhism help individuals become aware. For the golden few, you may obtain enlightenment.
We want to be led by our prime inner purpose.